This weekend we went to MCM Comic Con in Glasgow, an event that me and the various amazing geeky nerdy guys that I know go to every year. Unexpectedly this year brought out some deep rooted anger issues for me, so strap in. This post is brought to you by opinionated Ainzlie, but trust me – the lesson is worth it.
Comic Con and Cosplay
For those of you who don’t know the lingo, that’s where you go to the con and dress up as your favourite character, it can be from anime, films, games, tv shows – one guy was dressed as the Scots Oats porridge guy. Random but very cool.
This brings me to my point. As everyone is different, some people are physically built to play certain characters – for example the guy dressed as superman without a body costume, real abs, real biceps, real tight lycra.
But what if you don’t look like your favourite character? Given that a lot of characters, particularly in anime, are very tiny this is not uncommon. Does this mean that you need to ditch your idea in favour of something that is more fitted to you?
What if your body shape isn’t suited to any character that you know or like? Then what?
There seems to be two opinions on this
- You can wear whatever the hell you like.
- You can’t go to a con as “fat batman”
That’s a whole lot of judgement for something that is meant to be enjoyable.
Batman gives zero fucks
My opinion? To paraphrase Tess Holliday:
‘Comic con – F your beauty standards’
But this is easier said than done because it reminded me of all the times that I avoided doing certain things because of my size as a teenager/young adult.
This is one of those situations where I truly believe that if you’ve never struggled with your weight that you cannot possibly begin to understand.
^^^ You can try but seriously, I’m sorry, until you’ve truly hated how you look you and been told that you should forever be ashamed until you change, you can’t truly understand.
Refusing to go to events or to do things that you’d like to do because, even though it might not be explicitly said, “fat people don’t do that”.
The unspoken rule that if you’re a certain size you’re just better off not going because it might upset someone else.
It reminded me of all the times I’ve put things off and also of all the conversations I’ve had with new clients who tell me that their goal is to do “this thing” but they’re waiting until they are a certain size before they do it.
Exercise is one of the best examples.
Where I work has a private room for personal trainers and their clients and some people I train start in there exclusively because the gym is a scary place full of fit people and they have the feeling that they don’t belong.
Even writing this angers me and still upsets me a little because it’s all too easy for me to feel those emotions again.
I didn’t write this post to make you angry however, I wrote it to speak to the people who read this and say “This is me”
It’s hard to put yourself out there and it’s hard to do things that you feel you shouldn’t do simply because of how you look. But, I for one, reached a point where I decided that it was far more stressful and uncomfortable to avoid doing things just to feel safer.
I realised that, as an adult, there are worse things that being judged by someone else for how you look.
It’s not nice but there are worse things.
(example – physical injury, health problems, death)
So, lets say you go to comic con dressed as your favourite character and you’re bigger than they are, and someone judges you for that.
Why do they care?
Why does your body offend them?
Do you really give a shit about the opinion of someone who is so shallow, empty and bitter that they have to openly tell you that you’re too big to have fun?
Really?? Does that worry seem like a good use of your time?!
By all means be angry, and emotional, but put that to one side for a minute and ask yourself:
Am I willing to change my behaviour and my life for other people for one more second of my life?
That answer should be no. Seriously.
Whatever you look like, whatever your size there is no logical reason why you can’t just life your life as you damn well please.
I urge you to do this because, like I have said a million times, change starts with being kind to yourself, being brave and pushing for self love.
Ainzlie xx
p.s – I want to make it clear that while I’ve helped clients change their body for a specific event, I spend my energy making sure that they change their mindset as well. You can be happy with who you are and still look for change.
