“You have nice eyes”
“I like your laugh”
“You work hard”
How do you take your compliments?
I’ve never been good at taking compliments for two reasons.
- I have a history of being bullied for my appearance
- It’s not polite (apparently) to take a compliment without some self depreciation – that’s just not British.
We see it as being big headed if someone compliments us and we simply say “thank you” without looking slightly uncomfortable. The truth being of course that we reinforce in our minds that we’re not worthy of praise.
This is happening overwhelmingly in the women that I know, compared to the men that I know. I see it in strong confident women as well as first year uni students new to Edinburgh and the big world.
Being able to not only take a compliment but own it completely is massive for your self esteem and your confidence. And a strong confident person is more capable.
So you’re like me and you’re not great at compliments, what then?
1. Just say thank you.
Stop rolling your eyes, or instantly thinking of a witty comeback that will diffuse the situation. Even if it’s uncomfortable, say thanks.
2. Stop minimising your achievements.
Not everyone can do what you can do. If your compliment is on something you’ve done – take it and own it and stop assuming that others could have done the same, or better.
If you continue to respond with “Oh, it was nothing” out of politeness eventually you’ll believe that.
3. Give more compliments yourself
You do have to mean them…that’s the only thing. However if you’re not good at taking compliments, start to give them more to other people. Be specific, be honest and notice how they respond.
Do they take a compliment well? Excellent, steal that confidence!
Do they take a compliment really badly? Doesn’t feel great when that happens, does it?
In summary
You can be uncomfortable accepting praise but if someone has taken the time to say something nice
Dont apologise.
Dont minimise.
Say thank you and accept that someone else thinks you’re great and that’s pretty damn fantastic.
Ainzlie
